Born So Beautiful

Why was s/he born so beautiful?
Why was s/he born at all?
S/he’s no fucking use to anyone,
s/he’s no fucking use at all.
S/he’s may be a joy to her mother,
but s/he’s just an asshole to me.

Soldier Song

Asshole, asshole, a soldier I will be.
To piss, to piss, two pistols on my knee.
For cunt, for cunt, for country and for queen.
Asshole, asshole, asshole, asshole, a soldier I will be.

Eyes of an Eagle

If I had the eye of an eagle,
if I had the wings of a crow,
I’d fly over god’s creation
and shit on the hashers below, below.

Shit on, shit on,
shit on the hashers below, below.

Shit on, shit on,
shit on the hashers below.

You’re a shitty hare

(to the tune of Living on a prayer, Bon Jovi)
Credit to Tour De Puke

You’re spose to mark trail,
with flour dots.

Doesn’t make a difference to you if we get shot.
I hope you’re planning to drink a lot because…
[insert reason for offense that rhymes with shot]

oooooo, you’re half-way there.
Ooooo-ooooo, you’re a shitty hare, you’re a shitty hare.

(solo)
down,down down, down, down, down….

Here’s to Fellow Hasher

(Ach, Du Lieber Augustin)

Here’s to brother hasher,
brother hasher, brother hasher,
Here’s to brother hasher,
may he chug-a-lug.

He’s happy, he’s jolly,
he’s fucked up by golly.
Here’s to brother hasher,
may he chug-a-lug.

So drink motherfucker!
Drink motherfucker!
Drink motherfucker!
Drink motherfucker!
Here’s to brother hasher,
may he chug-a-lug.

I’ve been searching for true trail

(To the tune of I’ve been working on the railroad)

I’ve been searching for true trail,
all the live long day.

I’ve been searching for true trail,
and somehow lost my way.

I can hear the whistles blowing,
blowing all over town.

I can hear the RA singing,
grab your beer and drink it down, down, down, down…

Running should always be this fun