Tech On Trail

Written by: Kitten Mittens, Post Master Genital or whatever his name is this month)


Do you think your at a party?
Do you think your at work?
You are at a fucking hash trail.
You stupid fuckin jerk.
Why’d ya have to get your fuckin phone out?
While you were doing trail
Now that you are back in circle you can drink a cup of ale

( Drink in down and down to the tune of the song)

When the end of the month rolls around

You can tell by the smell that she isn’t feeling well
As the end of the month rolls around
You can tell by the blotch that she’s got a leaky crotch
As the end of the month rolls around

So it’s Hi Hi Hee in the Kotex factory
Shout out your sizes loud and clear …
Small … medium … large … We’ve got rags to fit a barge
When the end of the month rolls around

You can tell by her pout that her eggs are falling out
As the end of the month rolls around
You can tell by her walk that you will get it… NOT!
As the end of the month rolls around

You can tell by the stain that she’s in a lot of pain
As the end of the month rolls around
You can tell by her stance that she’s got cotton in her pants
As the end of the month rolls around

You can tell by her pain that you’ll be beating off again
As the end of the month rolls around
You can tell by the string that she’s got something up her thing
As the end of the month rolls around

You can tell by the flood that she’s losing lots of blood
As the end of the month rolls around
When she’s on the rag, you can only cry and beg
As the end of the month rolls around

You can tell by the stench that she’s a bloody wench
As the end of the month rolls around
You can tell by her pout that her eggs are failing out
As the end of the month rolls around

You can tell by her walk that you’ll sit around and talk
As the end of the month rolls around
You can tell by the blotch that she’s got a leaky crotch As the end of the month rolls around

You can tell by her eyes that there is blood between her thighs As the end of the month rolls around
You can tell that it itches by the way she always bitches As the end of the month rolls around

You can bet it ain’t sweat when her underwear is wet
As the end of the month rolls around
You can tell by the stink that she isn’t in the pink
As the end of the month rolls around

If she won’t let you pump you can do it in her rump
As the end of the month rolls around
If your sex life is a loss and your cock is growing moss
As the end of the month rolls around

If you give her enough beer you can do her in the rear
As the end of the month rolls around
If you get near her with your cock she’ll tell you to take a walk
As the end of the month rolls around

Girls Who Say They Will

Melody – British Grenadier

I like the girls who say they will,
And I like the girls who won’t.

I hate the girls who say they will,
And then they say they won’t.

But of all the girls I like the best,
I may be wrong or right,

Are the girls who say they never will,
But look as though they might.

How Much Beer

(Ode to Joy)

How much beer has he been drinking,
he is looking mighty lit.
As we stand here are we thinking:
do we really give a shit.
Who’s that wanker,
so unseemly
that his mum would surely frown.
Grab your beer and hold it firmly,
drink it, drink it, down, down, down.

Meet the Hashers

(Meet the Flintstones)

Hashers, meet the hashers,
they’re the biggest drunks in history.
From the hash of harrisburg,
they’re the leaders in debauchery.
Half minds, trailing shiggy through the years.
Watch them as they down a lot of beers.
Down down, down down down down,
down down down down down down down down down,
down down down down down down,
down down down down down down down!

Born So Beautiful

Why was s/he born so beautiful?
Why was s/he born at all?
S/he’s no fucking use to anyone,
s/he’s no fucking use at all.
S/he’s may be a joy to her mother,
but s/he’s just an asshole to me.

Running should always be this fun